- An apple is not a "proper snack." Neither is an orange. No, no. Apparently what I have considered a "small meal" (such as a bagel with scrambled eggs or a small bowl of pasta) for my whole life is actually a "proper after-school snack."
- Let's stay on the subject of food - spaghetti is not a "real dinner." But you know what is? Sausages. Just sausages. Toto, I have a feeling we're not in America anymore. We must be in Deutschland!
- One more. (Obviously we talk about food a lot.) Because I am American, I am unable to make Austrian crepes. Even if I was given the recipe AND shown how to make these sacred crepes by an Austrian, I would still fail miserably. Because I'm American.
- When I speak German, my accent is so terrible that Germans think I'm speaking a foreign language. On an unrelated note, my boys are very supportive and encouraging and give me that boost of confidence I need to speak the language I'm desperately trying to learn. (Ha.)
- Not only are aliens real, but they must find the city of Bonn to be the most exciting place on earth because they are always hovering around above us. We have at least one UFO sighting every day.
I can't believe we didn't cover any of these topics at all during my 17+ years of education.
Alright, here's the part of the post where I apologize for my 6+ weeks of silence. Really, I'm sorry. I know I need to be better at it. The good news is that this is the first of three posts that I need to get published. So you all have two more posts that will be published relatively soon to look forward to!
Let's back up all the way to mid-February. What's going on in Germany in mid-February? Karneval! Here's a quick rundown of what exactly that is:
Technically Karneval starts on November 11, but the high Karneval season - aka the time when people temporarily abandon normal life and participate in Karneval festivities - happens right before Lent. Apparently it's a Catholic holiday of some sort, but I really cannot figure out what aspect of Karnvel is supposed to be spiritual or rooted in any sort of organized religion. It seems to me that it's just an excuse to get time off of work/school and celebrate for a week. And how do Germans celebrate? By getting drunk of course! Now let's be completely honest here. Germans do NOT need an excuse to get drunk. That's a normal activity. But what makes Karneval special? You can get drunk while you're wearing a costume! And in public! In the morning, the middle of the day, at night, whenever! It's a good time all around, let me tell you.
There are activities, different themes, parades, and parties every day of the high Karneval week. The peak of high Karneval happens on Rosenmontag (Rose Monday). After Rosenmontag, the celebrations fade out until the end of Karneval two days later on Ash Wednesday. Well if the peak of Karneval happens on Rosenmontag, of course that's the day I'm going to abandon the comparatively small celebrations in Bonn and join the big crowds in Cologne.
Jane, Kayla, and I got an early start to make sure we beat the crowds in Cologne. Picture this - it's a cold morning in Bonn. Most people are still in bed. Then, to your surprise and delight, a monkey, a lumberjack, and a cowgirl casually stroll down the street heading for the train station. Nothing out of the ordinary here. It's Karneval!
We definitely achieved our goal. We beat the crowds and found a perfect place to watch the parade. Our spot was prime. We'd be able to see all the floats, and we could catch any candy or flowers they threw to us without competing with a ton of other people. There was one downside. We got there WAY too early and it was FREEZING. We held our spot for as long as possible. But eventually it got too cold and we had to retreat to the train station to get warm, use the restroom, and get some food. (Yes, it was lunchtime by this point. We waited for the parade to come to us for hours... and nothing.)
When we made it back outside, the parade was finally passing by us. Unfortunately we couldn't find a good spot to watch the floats. We got in the crowds for a little bit to try getting the full experience. I endured zero personal space and limited visuals on the parade and all I got out of the experience was one piece of candy and one flower. It definitely was an underwhelming experience, especially after I was told by several people that I would need to bring an extra bag to hold all the goodies I would catch.
So let's wrap up this experience in a nice and tidy little summary. I stressed about finding a costume for days before Rosenmontag; once I made it to the Karneval festivities in costume, it was too cold to take my coat off so I was the weirdest looking cowgirl ever. I froze for hours. I couldn't see the parade. The buckets of candy I was expecting turned out to be just one piece of chocolate. I was freezing the whole time. I sacrificed personal space in the name of getting the full experience, and instead I experienced a stranger's hand on my butt. (Accident or not? I'll never know.) Did I mention it was cold??
I've decided that Karneval is not for me. It's too cold for most costumes. (I should have been the Michelin man.) It's highly likely that you won't even see the parade, especially if you're short like me and can't see over people's heads. It's also highly likely that you'll get groped in the confusion of the crowd. And since beer - an average German's drink of choice - is not something I allow to pass my lips, the whole drunkenness aspect of the celebration was totally lost on me.
The good news is that Germany is not the only country to celebrate Karneval. And I got a chance to do over the whole experience in Switzerland the next week. (Although it's called Fasnacht in Switzerland, not Karneval. But it's the same idea.) And it was infinitely better.
And the good news for all of you is that I've decided that I'm going to save my Fasnacht experiences for another blog post. This one is long enough, plus I'm about to fall asleep on my keyboard. I think it's time to call it a night. So this post just became the first of four that will be posted in relatively quick succession! Stay posted! Gute nacht!
Alright, here's the part of the post where I apologize for my 6+ weeks of silence. Really, I'm sorry. I know I need to be better at it. The good news is that this is the first of three posts that I need to get published. So you all have two more posts that will be published relatively soon to look forward to!
Let's back up all the way to mid-February. What's going on in Germany in mid-February? Karneval! Here's a quick rundown of what exactly that is:
Technically Karneval starts on November 11, but the high Karneval season - aka the time when people temporarily abandon normal life and participate in Karneval festivities - happens right before Lent. Apparently it's a Catholic holiday of some sort, but I really cannot figure out what aspect of Karnvel is supposed to be spiritual or rooted in any sort of organized religion. It seems to me that it's just an excuse to get time off of work/school and celebrate for a week. And how do Germans celebrate? By getting drunk of course! Now let's be completely honest here. Germans do NOT need an excuse to get drunk. That's a normal activity. But what makes Karneval special? You can get drunk while you're wearing a costume! And in public! In the morning, the middle of the day, at night, whenever! It's a good time all around, let me tell you.
There are activities, different themes, parades, and parties every day of the high Karneval week. The peak of high Karneval happens on Rosenmontag (Rose Monday). After Rosenmontag, the celebrations fade out until the end of Karneval two days later on Ash Wednesday. Well if the peak of Karneval happens on Rosenmontag, of course that's the day I'm going to abandon the comparatively small celebrations in Bonn and join the big crowds in Cologne.
Jane, Kayla, and I got an early start to make sure we beat the crowds in Cologne. Picture this - it's a cold morning in Bonn. Most people are still in bed. Then, to your surprise and delight, a monkey, a lumberjack, and a cowgirl casually stroll down the street heading for the train station. Nothing out of the ordinary here. It's Karneval!
We definitely achieved our goal. We beat the crowds and found a perfect place to watch the parade. Our spot was prime. We'd be able to see all the floats, and we could catch any candy or flowers they threw to us without competing with a ton of other people. There was one downside. We got there WAY too early and it was FREEZING. We held our spot for as long as possible. But eventually it got too cold and we had to retreat to the train station to get warm, use the restroom, and get some food. (Yes, it was lunchtime by this point. We waited for the parade to come to us for hours... and nothing.)
When we made it back outside, the parade was finally passing by us. Unfortunately we couldn't find a good spot to watch the floats. We got in the crowds for a little bit to try getting the full experience. I endured zero personal space and limited visuals on the parade and all I got out of the experience was one piece of candy and one flower. It definitely was an underwhelming experience, especially after I was told by several people that I would need to bring an extra bag to hold all the goodies I would catch.
So let's wrap up this experience in a nice and tidy little summary. I stressed about finding a costume for days before Rosenmontag; once I made it to the Karneval festivities in costume, it was too cold to take my coat off so I was the weirdest looking cowgirl ever. I froze for hours. I couldn't see the parade. The buckets of candy I was expecting turned out to be just one piece of chocolate. I was freezing the whole time. I sacrificed personal space in the name of getting the full experience, and instead I experienced a stranger's hand on my butt. (Accident or not? I'll never know.) Did I mention it was cold??
I've decided that Karneval is not for me. It's too cold for most costumes. (I should have been the Michelin man.) It's highly likely that you won't even see the parade, especially if you're short like me and can't see over people's heads. It's also highly likely that you'll get groped in the confusion of the crowd. And since beer - an average German's drink of choice - is not something I allow to pass my lips, the whole drunkenness aspect of the celebration was totally lost on me.
The good news is that Germany is not the only country to celebrate Karneval. And I got a chance to do over the whole experience in Switzerland the next week. (Although it's called Fasnacht in Switzerland, not Karneval. But it's the same idea.) And it was infinitely better.
And the good news for all of you is that I've decided that I'm going to save my Fasnacht experiences for another blog post. This one is long enough, plus I'm about to fall asleep on my keyboard. I think it's time to call it a night. So this post just became the first of four that will be posted in relatively quick succession! Stay posted! Gute nacht!
